Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
