it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
