We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
