Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
