I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dear god my vagina.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize