He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
