Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
