I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
