I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
