Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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