you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
why is half of my head shaved?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
