yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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