My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
