i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
