you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
