My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
