this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
