So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
