so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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