I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
