I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she pinky promised me she was 18
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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