I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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