You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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