I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
