He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did not marry a roomba.
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