yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
