I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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