He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
