I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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