my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
