Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
