I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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