And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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