I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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