ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
