Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
