im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
