well you can't waste a boner
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
