the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
