remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize