Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
