pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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