So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
