i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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