omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
