feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
