I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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