I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
