I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize