If i could tip my vagina, i would.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she smelled like a LAN party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
