and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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