No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
