You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
