And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
