Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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