do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
