If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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