dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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