You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize