She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This baby is an asshole
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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