someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize