sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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