He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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