OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
