its not stalking. its research.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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