I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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