I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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